I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
