Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
