I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
