I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
