it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
