I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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