I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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