His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
