he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
