You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
