the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
