So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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