Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
