Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also, beer. Big fan.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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