We named our party play list daddy issues
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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