dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
