i wish my penis had a tongue
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
