I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
