It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
