he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
