Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I intend to get homeless drunk
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
