Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
