Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
