btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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