ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
