i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You were trust falling into bushes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
