and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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