I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
