Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Randomize
