words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
