god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
