My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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