Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
