I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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