a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
