How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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