I'm eating all of the evidence.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
