Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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