My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
