Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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