I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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