hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Randomize
