Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize