don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize