the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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