Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
