omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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