Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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