the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
