Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
