My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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