Your tits are I can't wait for
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
