I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
