trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
