Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize