so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
