I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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