I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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