I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
