My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
