I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
