Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
